Complex Magazine released “The 25 Best Rap Verses of the Last 5 Years,” naming Nicki Minaj’s verse in Monster #1.
“It was clear, she did her thing alongside the best in the game—she stole the show, in fact, outshined them all.”
"This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I’d gotten the time of the train wrong.
I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table.
I want you to picture the scene. It’s very important that you get this very clear in your mind.
Here’s the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There’s a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase.
It didn’t look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.
Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There’s nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies.
You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know… But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn’t do anything, and thought, what am I going to do?
In the end I thought, nothing for it, I’ll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, that settled him. But it hadn’t because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie.
Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice …” I mean, it doesn’t really work.
We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away.
Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back. A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies.
The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who’s had the same exact story, only he doesn’t have the punch line."
Douglas Adams (via poltergina)
I buy all your favorite foods so I will be ready when you come home
because once I did this and you said “This is how I know you love
I go on long walks alone and think about a poem my friend wrote
that goes ”This is how you die by distance.”
I hum the sound of the dial tone under my breath.
I stare at my hands and wonder at their uses. I consider pawning
my thighs. I consider auctioning off my hip bones. I put my breasts in
a box on the top shelf of the closet. I do not need them now.
I think of all the things I have to tell you when I will see you.
I just found out pumpkins are technically fruits
Cary Grant’s first job was in a traveling circus
Most mammals are born able to walk and learn to run within minutes, so we are not crazy for moving so fast.
This morning I wrote your name in the steam on my mirror, even though I knew it would fade within minutes
In my best notebook I wrote “I miss you” ten thousand times.
I wrote “I think I am missing one of my ribs”
I wrote “I envy the way leaves know exactly when to fall from the branches and when to come back in the spring”
I wrote “Everyone else isn’t you. It turns out that’s a huge problem for me.”"
"If I were born a hundred years from now, well and good, but now what’s in store for me—I have to marry, that goes without saying. Who? I’m too bright for most men, and yet I have to descend to their level and let them patronize my intellect in order to get their attention."
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s This Side of Paradise (via fscottfitzgerald)
Toco The Cat And His Human: Growing Up Together
A tabby cat and her little human both turned two this year. They have been growing up together since birth. The two share a very special friendship and are completely inseparable. The parents have documented their special bond on instagram. It’s evident that kitty loves his little human and the little girl adores her furry best friend.
Via Love Meow
"yesterday, i spent 60 dollars on groceries,
took the bus home,
carried both bags with two good arms back to my studio apartment
and cooked myself dinner.
you and i may have different definitions of a good day.
this week, i paid my rent and my credit card bill,
worked 60 hours between my two jobs,
only saw the sun on my cigarette breaks
and slept like a rock.
flossed in the morning,
locked my door,
and remembered to buy eggs.
my mother is proud of me.
It is not the kind of pride she brags about at the golf course.
she doesn’t combat topics like, ”my daughter got into yale”
with, ”oh yeah, my daughter remembered to buy eggs”
but she is proud.
see, she remembers what came before this.
the weeks where i forgot how to use my muscles,
how i would stay as silent as a thick fog for weeks.
she thought each phone call from an unknown number was the notice of my suicide.
these were the bad days.
my life was a gift that I wanted to return.
my head was a house of leaking faucets and burnt-out lightbulbs.
depression, is a good lover.
so attentive; has this innate way of making everything about you.
and it is easy to forget that your bedroom is not the world,
that the dark shadows your pain casts is not mood-lighting.
it is easier to stay in this abusive relationship than fix the problems it has created.
today, i slept in until 10,
cleaned every dish i own,
fought with the bank,
took care of paperwork.
you and i might have different definitions of adulthood.
i don’t work for salary, i didn’t graduate from college,
but i don’t speak for others anymore,
and i don’t regret anything i can’t genuinely apologize for.
and my mother is proud of me.
i burned down a house of depression,
i painted over murals of greyscale,
and it was hard to rewrite my life into one i wanted to live
but today, i want to live.
i didn’t salivate over sharp knives,
or envy the boy who tossed himself off the brooklyn bridge.
i just cleaned my bathroom,
did the laundry,
called my brother.
told him, “it was a good day."
"a good day", kait rokowski (via ikeadate)